Fast Lane
by healthydrugs
Summary: "So, let me get this straight. You tried to jack my car so that you could get revenge on your piece of shit ex-boyfriend?"
1. Chapter 1

_Encounter_

"FUCK!"

Grimmjow groaned in pain as he clutched his injured forehead. He rolled out from under the nearly matted, gray color of the 1967 Shelby GT500 Eleanor with his timeworn creeper and sat up slowly. He probed the redenned area of his forehead with the touch of his fingertips, wincing as he did so.

"Great, I'm gonna look like a damn unicorn and Nnoi is gonna laugh his lanky ass off."

He grumbled and glared at the object that was the cause of his current misery. Directing the blame towards the object of his passionate hatred, he threw his alarm at the rusty garage door with plenty amount of force, causing the device to obliterate into tiny microscopic pieces.

Grimmjow had a not only lazy, but dangerous habit of snoozing off when working under a car with the influence of extreme exhaustion. He mentally made a note to get a bag of ice later to lessen the swelling.

The irritated mechanic carelessly chucked the silver iron grip plier he was holding on to on the cement floor, the action making a cringe worthy clattering noise as it slid towards his other tools.

He grabbed an orange hand towel from his back pocket and wiped his hands as well as his face that still showed remnants of sleep.

Grimmjow yawned, his white canines out for the world to see and stretched, just like how a feline would. He cracked his neck and made his way to the tiny bathroom that was connected to his work space.

He flipped the switch, the lights blinking before it settled into a neutral glow, light enough to at least see himself. As he turned the tap water on, waiting for it to warm up, he took in his reflection in the mirror that showed his full profile.

There stood a tan, strong, and well built man that made the gods reel with envy and the largest icons of society drown in desire at the very thought of possessing this wickedly enchanting creature. Standing at 6 foot and 1 inch, he was packed with the perfect amount of muscles, with bright indigo blue eyes and cotton candy teal hair.

He was wearing the stone washed, dimmed blue, traditional mechanic coveralls with wheat colored timberlands that were lightly lined with grease and soot.

Grimmjow smirked wide with confidence. He knew he looked damn good no matter what day or where he was; it didn't hurt to remind himself though.

He washed his face with basic soap, brushed his teeth, and hopped in the shower.

After he got done with washing up, he did his normal routine which consisted of geling his hair back with the exception of a few stubborn strands still hanging and put on another clean pair of standard coveralls.

"Time to get back to work."

Grimmjow sighed as he grabbed his wrenches and screwdrivers made for precision. It wasn't like he hated his job, it was the opposite. He took great joy in restoring old and even newer cars. Grimmjow was even recognized as one of the best mechanics in his city. It was just really tiring, however, he could never say he regretted taking this career choice whenever he finished up a project and looked at newly renovated vehicle.

Sure, he could've went with racing or maybe even fighting, but Grimmjow found that he liked to work with his hands the most and study the anatomy of an automobile.

Laying back down in his creeper, he got back to work.

 _Brrrrr Brrrrr_

Grimmjow stopped sketching on the car structure model paper and tucked his trusty pen behind his ear, brushing back a few blue locks.

"What's happenin', bitch?" He said gruffly taking a swig of water, relaxing his parched throat. He had been working for hours and forgot to take his much needed break.

"Nothin' much, lil dick. You done with the shit yer workin' on yet or what?" Nnoitra said. If Grimmjow didn't think that the word 'best friend' was utterly disgusting and nauseous to think about, Nnoitra would probably be the closest.

"Yeah, just need to do routine check underneath the hood and it's ready to fuck some shit up."

"Ahahaha, aight. Take it to the gas station where the owner will pick it up, yeah?"

Grimmjow raised one blue eyebrow, Nnoitra never wanted to cut things abrupt and short like that, he would always jibe and probably throw a dick joke in there or two, unless…

A knowing grin overcame his face; one could think that he was the Grinch.

"Sup, Shinji."

The mechanic heard a crash and the blonde haired man's unmistakable giggles.

"F- fuck you! I'm hangin' up." Nnoitra sounded incredibly flustered and Grimmjow was incredibly entertained.

He laughed.

"Don't forget to use a condom."

"Shut yer fuckin' mouth, Jaegerjaquez! Oh, speakin' of which, ya know Abarai?"

Grimmjow groaned.

"What about little red riding hood?"

He snickers and I can already picture his smirk reaching from ear to ear.

"He's the client."

Grimmjow groaned even louder.

"Why do pricks always have such beast ass cars?" Grimmjow grumbled, mood already ruined thinking about the red headed pineapple.

Renji Abarai was someone that he immensely hated with a burning passion and really, that says something because he probably hates fifty percent of the world's population already. Renji was an arrogant, stuck up, rich kid who never failed to make Grimmjow's blood boil. Renji always looked at him as if he was beneath him and even the very dirt that he walked on.

"I know, right? It's a damn shame. It sucks even more cause he's got this fine ass, sexy, orange haired boy toy that I would just love to-

 _Whack!_

"Ow! FUCK! That hurts! B- baby, ya know I didn't mean it, right? All I want is you-

The line cut off Nnoi's anxious rambling and Grimmjow has never felt more relieved and confused. It was incredibly weird. Weird for the most part because of the mentioned hair color. _Why the fuck would you want a flashlight on your head?_ He thought.

He was a bit relieved because seeing his friend like that, was so out of character. Before Nnoitra met Shinji, he was the biggest fucking playboy he knew out of the whole gang. He went through guys like he went through a damn toilet paper roll. But now, it's like no matter how many guys look exactly like his type, Shinji will always be the one that he has his eyes on.

Don't get him wrong, Grimmjow does indeed believe in love.

He just doesn't believe that it will happen to _him._

Sighing, he stood up and grabbed the keys of the wonderful classic vehicle he was just working on.

"Might as well just get it over with."

Grimmjow handled the gear shift, maneuvered his- Abarai's car, and stepped on the breaks with effortless ease.

He was in an old gas station waiting for the tomato head to show up. The gas station was rarely used and was in between the two cities of Karakura and Hueco Mundo.

It was old, vintage, and consisted of the colors, mint green, pastel yellow, and a faded red. "Hollows" was in big blocky red letters that looked as if they were about to fall off of the roof of the station.

Grimmjow sighed, leaning against the car and checking his wristwatch.

"Is this guy too fuckin' stupid to come in on time or somethin'? Fuckin' shit." He mumbled to himself.

Grimmjow was pretty irritated. He was in a gas station that felt like it was right in the middle of the Sahara desert and his narrowed glacial eyes were constantly drooping and twitching, fatigue coming in from the hours he had worked earlier. Not to mention he was the only fucking one there.

Grimmjow was definitely gonna charge charge him with more money for wasting his time. Then, he's going to buy himself a large pepperoni pizza and cold beer, while watching Breaking Bad. He sighed at the thought, mentally thinking of ways to strangle the shit out of Abarai and absentmindedly wondering if Amazon had any torture devices that would cause the highest amount of pain.

After waiting about what seemed like fucking forever, Grimmjow was felt like he was fucking done with everything.

 _Fuck this guy. Fuck him and fuck his car. Wait, actually no, just him. His car is pretty fuckin' magnificent. But ya know what? I don't give a shit anymore, I'm taking this car for my damn self and I'm decking it out with boss ass speakers, panthers, a load shit of blue, some wee-_

 _Grooowwl._

 _Goddamn it._

Unable to tolerate his demanding stomach, started to make his way towards the tiny convenience store of the gas station. He shoved his hands in his pockets, and kicked a pebble, making him look like a sulking toddler.

He was about to open the smudged glass door of the store when a flash of movement caught the corner of his eye.

 _Motherfucker._

Okay, maybe that wasn't his first thought.

His first thought, was _damn, that ass lookin' fine as fuckk_.

A figure dressed in midnight black skinny jeans that had gaping rips at the knees, worn out red chucks, and a plain black sweater that had its hood up the owner's head was crouching near _his_ \- Abarai's- _Fuck it. It was his car until that Elmo looking piece of shit claimed it and gave him at least a couple of thousand dollars for his patience._

Anyway, the hooded figure with the very nice gluteus maximus was crouched near the driver's side of the car holding something in his hand. It looked like a lockpick of some sort and it was pretty obvious of what they were trying to do.

 _Fuck, I should probably stop them, huh? Fuck! That ass though…_

 _Would they let me hit that if I let them go?_

 _What the fuck are you thinking? Where's your pride, huh? Yer gonna let some hot ass take yo baby like that? Hell nah!_

Making up his mind, Grimmjow began to sprint towards to where _his_ car was parked, ready to tackle and subdue the sexy- ugly ass son of a bitch trying to take what was rightfully his.

As he came closer, he thought he noticed something orange sticking out from under the guy's hoodie but he thought nothing of it, thinking his eyes were just playing dirty tricks on him.

His timberland clad feet hit the cracked pavement roughly and as he came even closer, the figure abruptly stood up, probably noticing another presence.

Before they had a chance to react though, Grimmjow tackled them as if he was an offensive lineman the second that they turned around.

The impact of the crash was so hard that it felt as if his brain shook a little and scrambled it around.

Once he could start thinking again and became aware of what just happened, he opened his eyes.

Clear, blue skies widened in shock at the unexpected sight that he was literally on top of.


	2. Chapter 2

_Foreboding_

I glared heatedly at the big blue lump that was currently on top of me.

I couldn't exactly make out his face because he was hovering over the sun behind him, but I could pick out a hint of bright blue even from his dark silhouette that was being outlined by white beaming light.

He was heavy and he was blue.

Probably a freak, or hell, maybe even a child molester.

Haha, guess who has orange hair, two thumbs, and is having the greatest day in the world?

Not fucking Ron Weasley, that's for fucking sure.

Anyway, back to the topic that was literally squashing my intestines...

"I'm so flattered that you find me so comfortable, but would you mind getting off of me you fucking fat sack of shit?"

Okay, okay. Maybe I was being a bit too harsh on someone I didn't know, but wouldn't you if you got tackled by what felt like a dozen contestants of the Weight Watchers crew?

Just for additional unnecessary information that I felt like I needed to add, the man situated on top of me was nowhere near overweight. The poor fellow about to receive my wrath was actually very fit and muscular. His clothes were actually fitted enough so that you could see the curves and dips of his biceps and other muscles, and it looked even better when he was in front of the flaming fireball we call the sun.

No, it was not like, 'oh he probably ran track in high school and was in the varsity swim team' type of fit, but more along the lines of 'damn, bet he fucking lifts while taking a shit' type of fit.

I'm exaggerating. But he indeed had a very, very, very appealing body. He wasn't one of those over fibrous type of people who worked out everyday and looked like a hot dog on steroids. Thank the lord for that.

While I was having my mental mini rant about how hot his bod looked, he just stayed in his position looking at me dumbly like there wasn't anywhere in the world that he would rather be.

I must say though, those muscled thighs straddling my hips and his sinewy forearms on either sides of my head, caging me in wasn't so bad. And what the fuck was that spicy scent with a mixture of mint? Damn, if this guy ends up looking like Kenpachi's toenail, I'm going to be extremely disappointed.

Fuck.

Getting distracted again.

I snapped my fingers directly in his face.

"Ay, you in there or is your soul leaving ya?"

He seems to snap out of it and I guess the words that came out of my mouth finally registered in his head. Whoops.

I can almost feel the vehement glare full of distaste stab through me even though I couldn't see it.

"Oh, I'm sorry, Princess, did I ruin yer hair? Oh, oh! Worse yet, did ya break a nail? Fuck, my bad, here I have a number of someone who can help, it's _1-800-eat-your-own-dick."_

He sneered at me as he hauled himself up and patted of the dust.

Wow. Okay.

I was feeling a flurry of emotions. I was pissed, aroused, annoyed, relieved, and utterly salivating.

Pissed because, I mean what the fuck, the guy just told me to eat my own dick.

Aroused because, holy shit that was an orgasm inducing, husky ass voice that did all types of shit to my libido.

Annoyed because, he's already fucking judging me. He thinks I'm some pompous rich ass that thinks I'm higher than everyone. Well shit, I'm sorry that I don't like the ground that much, asshole. And I'm sorry to fucking disappoint, but I come from a standard family of four with two twin younger sisters and an idiot of a dad that likes to cry at portraits.

Yeah, I totally wipe my ass with hundred dollar bills.

I'm relieved because he definitely did not look like Kenpachi's toe nail. Far from it.

When he stood up, his features were finally revealed and my eyes soaked that shit in like a soggy ass pancake. The guy, had wild cornflower blue hair and gleaming blue eyes that seemed to magnetically pull you in. Add in his sharp jawline and straight nose, and you have created perfection.

Didn't help that he looked as if he were going to kick my ass up and down the curb either. It was fucking hot. He had his fine eyebrows furrowed and his eyes were narrowed, burning holes through my head.

Do I need to explain exactly why I was salivating?

Nah, didn't think so.

"Why are you being such an ass hair?" I ask, because I _needed_ to maintain my dignity.

He crossed his arms (my eyes may have lingered at his forearms for too long, I'm fucking weak) and huffed (okay, that was cute, but like hell am I going to admit it).

"Says the one that called me a fat sack of shit."

"Then why did you tackle me?!"

"What the fuck? Yer the one tryna steal my car!"

"Well, fuck- wait what?"

He looked at me with a deadpan expression. I scowled.

"This is Renji's car. I mean who else has that fucking car plate?"

I say exasperated, pointing at the godforsaken plate.

 _BIGDICKREN6969_

He looked at it, and I could tell that it was his first time seeing it. He shook his head for what seemed like pity for Renji's stupidity.

"What is he, five? This car deserves better." He states with a longing look, dragging his fingertips along the car's exterior.

Now that I got a closer look at it, it looks a bit newer than I last saw it. The paint job was cleaner and had a shine that I didn't know that was there before.

"You know him?" I ask.

He looked at me apprehensively, but answered anyway throwing caution to the wind as he shrugged his shoulders. He didn't seem concerned about giving the bastard's information out.

Good.

"He's a frequent customer. Has the personality of a tiny, limp dick though."

I laughed. Wow, this guy has the same humor as me. Is it too soon to propose?

I think my laughter seemed to loosen him up, cause I saw one corner of his mouth twitch up a little and the knot between his eyebrows loosening.

"How much do you hate him?" I inquired.

He raised one blue eyebrow as if asking 'why do you wanna know so bad?", but he eventually answered anyway.

"I'd rather lick a man tit than be in a room with that guy for five minutes." He scoffed.

I chuckled. Fuck, I should start looking for a ring soon.

"Who are ya anyway?" He asked with a sexy fucking smirk plastered on his face. If bashing Renji was a way to relieve tension, we should've done it earlier.

I grinned and shoved the black iron pliers that I was holding on to in my back pocket.

I held my hand out and introduced myself.

"Yo, my name's Ichigo Kurosaki. Renji's fiance."

 _Well, soon to be ex, I laughed gleefully and maliciously in my head._

thank you for reading :)


	3. Chapter 3

_Arrangement_

My right eye twitched uncontrollably and my fingers drummed harshly against the wooden table as I eyed the bastard that was sitting on the other side of the worn out booth. The little shit that seemed to be the core of all of my problems, was casually sipping his fucking coffee like nothing was wrong with this situation.

The aforementioned bastard, as if knowing he was being stabbed through staring, looked up and gave me a humongous grin. _Fucker_.

No, nope, _no way in hell._

Don't let the cute, puppy brown eyes and the crazy, adorable lining of foam above his upper lip fool you.

 _This man was a devil in disguise._

 _Fuck! Stop staring at me like that!_

I must've looked like I was considering some serious life choices in my head because he cocked his head and blinked at me in confusion.

I sighed, _it's like he doesn't even fuckin' try._

"So, we got a deal or not?" His melodious voice cut through the horrible 80's music that was playing in the background of the mostly vacant diner.

He cocked a fine orange eyebrow, obviously waiting for my response.

I wanted to slam my head into the table.

 _How did I get into this situation?_

 _A couple of hours ago…_

 _Thud!_

I groaned.

Fuck, that's gonna leave a damn bruise.

I felt the sturdy but slim body beneath me shift and make a noise of pain as well.

I felt my hands gripping into his narrow hips; goddamn it, should've aimed for the ass cheeks.

Before I even opened my eyes, I was slammed with a strong scent of spice and vanilla.

If the man's scent was enough to get to me, imagine the second that I opened my eyes.

I thought I was looking down at a damn deity.

Soft looking tan skin stretched along high cheekbones and bright orange tousled hair that shined in the sunlight. Whoever, this guy was, he was fucking breathtaking.

Yep.

All of that vanished the second he scowled and opened his damn mouth.

I'm gonna skip the part where he said a few "nice" things about me because trust me, it wasn't very pretty.

Fast forward to the part where he said he was with Renji though, and I was utterly fucking disappointed. Honestly, this guy was too good for a scumbag like Renji.

Horrible first impressions aside, he introduced himself and suddenly dragged me to a damn diner that was a few extra miles away from the gas station.

 _Present_

"Alright, so let me get this straight. You tried to jack my car so that you could get revenge on your piece of shit ex-boyfriend? Not to mention, you're asking me to tag team with you on a mission to fuck his life up?" I asked incredulously, because really, this was the most fucked situation I've been in in years.

Ichigo scowled, a bit disgruntled.

" _Fiance._ I don't know why you're making such a big deal out of this, it's a win win situation for both of us, and it's a bonus since you hate his fucking guts." He said nonchalantly, sipping on his diabetes filled coffee.

I laugh in disbelief.

"Yeah, but ya forgot the fuckin' part where it was illegal!"

He looked at me like I was talking in fucking cantonese, and even had the guts to look bored.

After a few moments of staring back and forth, Ichigo smirked.

"What, are ya scared?"

Hah! That's not gonna fucking work.

"Listen here, orange, the car is technically still in Renji's possession, and a couple of years in jail don't sound particularly pleasant to me for something as petty as this."

His eyes lit up and gleamed with fucking evilness. I shuddered a little.

"Yeah, but you're forgetting that I'm his fiance, meaning, I have all sorts of access to his shit."

I rubbed my temples and ran my fingers through my tousled blue hair, _this was too fucking much_ , _but he did have a point, damn it._

"When you say that I have to help you get revenge, what is it that I have to do for you anyway?"

Ichigo looked thoughtful for a second and finally answered.

"Well, I'm not sure if you know this but Renji's an incredibly possessive and controlling bastard, that's where you come in. We just have to act like we're eloping with each other or some shit."

I stand up abruptly, rattling everything on the table and probably having the few occupants of the diner looking at me like I belonged in the zoo but not giving a fuck.

"What. The. Fuck."

He rolled his expressive hazel eyes, looking like he was wishing for someone to kill him.

Ichigo grabbed my wrist and pulled me back down, and no I did not feel a burning heat lingering to the place he wrapped his nimble fingers around (maybe).

"You get the car you've had your eye on for awhile, and I get the gratifying feeling of revenge, after that, you won't ever have to see me again. Plus, if we do get in trouble, I'll take the blame for all of it."

The air of carelessness that seemed to always be around him vanished and was replaced with a much fiercer and determined tone. _What the hell did Renji do to make him so mad? And why does the idea of not seeing him again make me feel so fucking weird?_

I sighed for what seemed like the trillionth time today.

 _If I balance out my options, I really have nothing to lose, plus I gain a sick car as well as spending time with a hot orange haired fireball._

A shift in movement caught my eye causing me to look up at my companion. Ichigo sat back, folded his arms, and smirked.

 _This cocky son of a bitch already knows I've made my decision, fuuck._

"Alright, but on one condition."

He grinned just like that one purple fucking cat.

"What is it?"

"I get to back out whenever I want."

Ichigo shrugged after a moment of silence.

"Fair enough."

He unfolded his arms and held out a hand for me to shake, wearing the smile that I wish I never saw.

I took his slim but firm hand and he tugged me closer, pressing his silky, pink lips against my ear.

"Good deal, _partner_."


End file.
